Compliance, Courage, Confidence.

Compliance—just the word can stir something deep inside. For some, it triggers defensiveness: “Do I really need to do this?” “I already do everything I can!” For others, it sparks a quieter, more reflective reaction: “What needs to change?”

When we’re told we need to adhere to something new—especially something that affects our health—it can feel confronting. We might feel judged, overwhelmed, or even hopeless. Our minds race with questions.....

Do I really have to change?

Haven’t I done enough?

How is this going to affect the life I’ve worked so hard to maintain?

Health has a way of demanding our attention in the most inconvenient and uncomfortable ways. Whether it’s a cancer diagnosis, diabetes, a heart attack, or a chronic condition like Lymphoedema or Lipoedema, these are more than medical conditions—they are wake-up calls.

Suddenly, we are faced with decisions that challenge our habits, our excuses, our understanding, and even our identity. The lifestyle we’ve lived may no longer be sustainable. The small daily choices we once overlooked now carry heavy significance.

This is the point where many of us split. Some dig their heels in and resist change—understandably so. Change is hard. Compliance can feel like surrender. But others, often slowly and painfully, start to reflect. They begin to question not just what must change, but why those changes matter. They become willing to grow, to adapt, to seek support and knowledge, and most importantly, to act.

So, which one are you?

Are you the one who feels overwhelmed and says “I can’t do this”?Or are you the one who pauses, reflects, and says “I have to work on this, I will give this a go?

There’s no shame in either response. But if your health is asking something of you—be it lifestyle changes, better self-care, or new routines—maybe it’s time to stop seeing compliance as a burden, and start seeing it as a bridge. A bridge to better health, more energy, less pain, and a more empowered version of you.

Change is rarely easy, it is about adjusting, being kind and gentle to yourself and loving yourself through this process, But know it is possible. And it often starts with the smallest decision: Will I stay where I am, or will I take a step forward?

Compliance is a challenge, it requires a shift in how you do life, your life while managing what is required of your Lymphatic condition.

Let that first step be yours.

For me, the question was always: How can I make this better? because I wasn't prepared to just settle for this as my life.

When I was first confronted with my diagnosis, I dove into research, scouring the internet for answers, support, and solutions. But what I quickly realised was that real healing required more than just knowledge - it demanded change, uncomfortable and confronting change, that compliance word became apparent pretty early on!

I had to introduce a full set of self-care processes and that was challenging all on it's own because I was a partner, a Mum, a sister, a friend, an Aunty and a colleague, each role demanded my time and energy and now this new tool box of self care had to become a priority, I will admit, this took time, it did not happen straight away and I still wax and wane out of compliance but that is ok, that is life.

So this is what change looked like, what compliance actually meant!

• Self-lymphatic drainage (SLD)

• Bandaging and compression.

• Kinesio tape.

• Prioritising rest and not feeling bad about it!

• Addressing and acknowledging the importance of good quality sleeping habits.

• Diaphragmatic breathing several times daily.

• Movement - swimming, vibration plate, earthing mat.

• Skin care to prevent cellulitis.

• Dry brushing daily routine.

• Anti-inflammatory nutrition - Keto and Juicing and IF - Intermittent fasting were beneficial for me.

• Becoming aware of how stress affected my health.

• Recognising how I spent my time- getting of social media.

• Spending time in nature, reconnection to what makes me feel alive.

• Seeking a registered lymphoedema therapist that I could connect with.

• Finding a GP who actually understood

• Self advocating.

• Cold water immersion

• Maintaining those connections that were important so I wasn't alone.

• Learning all I could about overall health and wellbeing.

• Focus on balance - learning what works for my body.

• Learning to love the body I have, addressing body image issues so it doesn't consume me and limit my participation in a life of my choosing.

• Not beating myself up on bad days.

• Moving through the emotions - expressing them, feeling them, sharing them with those that listened and with those I could trust.

  
  

Each step was overwhelming. The information was often conflicting, and navigating the system to find the right professionals was emotionally and financially draining. I was already managing chronic pain, and now I was at another life-altering crossroads.

But the truth was clear: my lymphatic system was overloaded, and I had to learn not just how it worked, but how to support it—how to support myself.

No one was going to catch me at the bottom of the cliff. This was for life, I had to manoeuvre through this transition phase.

BUT we are told Compliance is key in self managing a lymphatic disorder and this is true, but how this is communicated and supported is vital in changing your behaviour to put what was needed into actionable steps that are achievable and what works for your body and your life, all of this is important with managing your overall wellbeing, so lets break this down, what makes it so challenging, the emotional response to diagnosis I feel mirrors the stages of grief. Not all of us go through every stage, but they are apparent, this is just my thoughts on each stage in relation to how I have experienced it, your journey will be unique to you.

“In my experience, receiving a diagnosis like Lymphoedema felt like a kind of loss—of control, of identity, of the life I thought I’d have. I found myself moving through something that looked a lot like grief. Maybe you’ve felt it too.” Judith McCulloch

Stages of Grief

Shock is very real indeed, a state of disbelief, when you first get that diagnosis and most have never heard of it, it sends you either into panic mode or attempting to find out what Lymphoedema or Lipoedema actually is and the Lymphatic system, well that is also a shock because it is a system that never gets spoken about at your doctors appointment!

Denial is often seen as a defensive mechanism, where we are placed into a situation where we initially refuse to accept or acknowledge what is actually going on for us on a personal level, you don't want to stay there because nothing will improve and this can feel like your stuck in a whirlwind of emotions and it takes a lot of energy to remain stressed in this state of being, I have been there and visit this often, my stubborn attitude at times definately has put me in trouble in this state of thought, I have learnt to own it, recognise it and embrace it as part of my learning.

Anger, this can be fuelled due to frustration and on reflection the question, why did my doctor not know about this?, why, why, why will play around in your mind because you have been observing your body change right in front of you, for many of us over years, questioning what is going on and getting no resolve, this state is so very real and is re-triggered at every doctors appointment if you do not have a doctor that is keen to learn and support you, but you have a choice here, find one that does, otherwise you will constantly remain frustrated and unheard and this is not helping you move forward.

Bargaining makes sense on some levels, change is difficult and you begin to reason with your mind to negotiate some sort of control over the situation, so in some sense you do not have to deal with whats ahead, but this stage is important because once you find what supports your lymphatic system and you can begin to feel better, control can be a positive, because you have claimed back some level of benefit, but you have to do the work here.

Depression can move in with a profound sense of sadness, despair, isolation impacting your social environment, develop sleep issues, change in appetite and a loss of interest in activities you once felt enjoyable, it can be difficult to motivate yourself, you need to know this is a normal response to loss or grief and is not the same as clinical depression, but if you find yourself in this stage for too long, you need to seek support and intervention from your doctor and be referred to the appropriate professional services that can support you and if this is the case, that is ok, there is strength in reaching out to gain help and finding the right person is key, reclaim the parts of yourself that you might feel you have lost or disconnected from, no rush, take time here.

Acceptance is when you awaken to realising you have choices and your coming to terms with the reality of what these conditions bring to your life, accepting the situation doesn't mean what you are dealing with goes away, the pain, the loss, it just means you are willing to take a step forward in healing yourself and moving towards a new life accomodating your lymphatic condition, this is a valuable time, for me it was like I was giving myself permission to be myself embracing the changes and accepting what all this meant, also I had and continued to work on finding what made me feel stronger emotionally, made my body feel better, reducing inflammation and keeping the lymphatic system in a state of calm.

Meaning is when you begin to explore new meaning and purpose to your life, amidst the grief that you are experiencing, it can be a place of self reflection and this will look different for each of us, but this is where you can examine what you have learnt along this process, you also may revisit some of these stages or not experience some of them as you progress and naturally so, this is a place to celebrate how far you have come, so gather all you have learnt and embrace the next phase of your life with wisdom, courage and self love and tune in to your transformation.

IMPORTANT - These are my personal reflections on the emotional journey of chronic illness. If you find yourself struggling with grief, overwhelm, or emotional distress, please reach out to your GP. You deserve qualified professional support to help guide you through.

Helpful resource (New Zealand)

https://mentalhealth.org.nz/conditions/condition/grief-and-loss

So does the above resonate with you, its just a quick guide to understanding this emotional process that we possibly go through many times throughout life, I definately recognise myself in many of these stages over the course of change I have had presented to me so far and I imagine there is more ahead.

Acceptance doesn’t mean the pain goes away. But it means you're no longer resisting it—you’re integrating it into a new way of living your life.

What has helped me most is realising this: there’s no shortcut, and no one else can do this for you. But you don’t have to do it alone.

As a former Social Worker now Health Coach, I’ve seen first hand how critical it is to have someone walk alongside you. Someone to vent to, to offer you space and time for reflection, to celebrate the little wins. To help you move through resistance and build momentum in your own transformation.

When that support is in place, life begins again, it will look different—possibly not what you expected—but it can be beautiful, passionate, and entirely on your terms, but know you can become more resilient, stronger in your resolve and resume life with a passion you deserve and most importantly on your terms with hope!

Please reach out for a free discovery call via my website, where we can explore options to support you within the Health Coaching process to reclaim a life of your choice that improves your quality of life and always on your agenda!

Compliance requires Courage to gain Confidence!

J

'Explore what matters, living your life, loving your lymph'.

Changing daily habits is hard, but it does get easier once you become aware of what works for your body, for your lymphatic system, compliance is exactly this!